A few weeks ago I shared on my IG stories that we had some tough, life-altering, decisions to make as a family.
But I never shared WHAT or WHY.
It’s true- I share so much of my life on social media + my blog. And I enjoy opening up to you guys. No only do I find it to be a great way to connect with people and feel less “lonely” as a work from home mom, I also know I have been able to help others. And that is a great feeling!
You don’t see my husband too much on social. That is because he is a much more private person than I am. But when you do see him pop in from time to time you guys love seeing that part of my life.
Like for so many this year, Chris’ job situation drastically changed in September. We had to figure out a pivot- quickly. I asked you guys to pray that we had CLARITY to make the “right” decision for our family. At the time our options were to relocate to Tampa or Charlotte.
This was devastating and weighed heavy on my heart for weeks. I didn’t share details with you guys at the time because Chris had asked me not to until we had a more clear picture of what we would do. I respected his ask.
But not two days after I asked for YOUR prayers on my IG stories, God delivered. We didn’t have to make the decision. HE made it FOR US. Chris was offered a new position in New York. When we got that call it was the first deep breath I took in weeks. I felt so relieved.
While we were going through this it put lot of strain on our relationship. The anxiety loomed every single day. I did not want to move and Chris didn’t want me to feel upset. It was very difficult to navigate, especially since we had never been faced with a scenario like this in our marriage. The decision was of course something that would be drastically life altering not only for us, but our two children.
I know there are many people out there who have gone through a similar situation this year, so I really wanted to share this story and offer up some advice, based on what we just went through!
When you have to make tough decisions as a couple OR face a tough situation here are four things I think are good to remember…
#1- Give each other grace. You are not perfect and neither is your partner. When you land in a new situation this is something you are trying to both navigate together. You will each have your own views, thoughts and opinions. It is easy to “place blame” (I admit- I did at some points) but this can be hurtful and is not productive. What I did find to be helpful was to lay out all the options + potential ideas.
#2- Communication is KEY. I think this is always something that is important to remember in any relationship in general, especially when it comes to your spouse or life partner. No one is a mind reader, and they assumption that someone just KNOWS what you are thinking is just not true. Make time to sit down and talk about the situation you’re in (no matter what it is) and how you feel.
#3- Trust that whatever is meant to be will be. We end up in places because we are MEANT to be there. If something wasn’t FOR US then it would pass us by.
#4- NO SITUATION IS FOREVER. Seriously, everything comes to pass. I knew that even if we moved that it didn’t have to be forever. And that eventually one day we may have different options.
Let downs are often set ups for something better! We see that now for sure!! Chris started his new position a few weeks ago and loves it. He is happy and the commute is so much shorter (this was always a pain point for Chris in his two previous roles) and now we get to spend more time as a family in the afternoon because of that!
I want you to know that if this year has been hard on you, you are not alone in your struggles. I am right there with you. But we will come out stronger for having gone through these trials.